yeah if you would have asked me three
years ago if I thought that I would be
where I am now my answer would be
(old clip) hey guys so I just finished a workout. So
I haven’t told you guys this but I
haven’t gone to workout for about three
weeks now my membership ran out with the
bootcamp that I was doing. hmm
there’s a lot of things that I wish that
I knew before going into this weight
loss journey. When I first started out
I was a lot more gentle with myself than
what I would have been in the past. And
what I mean by that is I wasn’t as
restrictive but I was very naive. I
even look back and I watched some of
my old youtube videos and I don’t agree
with the things that I was saying. I put
so much energy into thinking that
someone was gonna do it for me still.
Like I needed someone to go to the gym
with me. I needed somebody to be eating
healthy with me. I needed somebody to
hold me accountable and slap the frickin
pizza out of my hand when I was about to
eat it you know. But I learned very
quickly that if you go into this with that
mindset then you’re just looking for excuses not to do it.
For a woman to post on the
internet how much she weighs, like the
actual number is terrifying and so, not
only did I post how much that I weighed
but I showed actual photos of my bod.
Things that I didn’t even want current
partners at the time to see.
(old clip) I am NOT
going to get emotional right now it’s
just really emotional to talk about. So
basically this is me coming out and
saying that it wasn’t that I never
wanted to be hugged. I felt that people
would be grossed out by hugging me and I
didn’t want to make people uncomfortable
by touching my fat and it was just
something that I was very self-conscious
about and so I put a lot of walls up
regarded ribs sorry.
if you’re someone
who’s dealing with depression I feel for
you and I have totally been there before.
My biggest piece of advice to you is
again not to focus on the big picture,
don’t focus on all the things that you
should be doing, don’t focus on all the
times that you failed in the past.
Because if you’re looking in the
rearview mirror how are you gonna see
what’s in front of you? I focus on one
thing at a time I didn’t let myself get
tripped up over the number on the scale.
Like if the scale didn’t move I wasn’t
like “oh why am I doing this it’s for
nothing”. No the reason that I was doing
it even if I wasn’t seeing results on
the scale was because I knew that my
health was at stake.
I knew that my self-confidence was at
stake. And when I say self-confidence I
I don’t mean like I’ve lost weight and I
look better so now I’m more confident.
What I mean is I was able to make these
changes. I said that I was going to do
something that I had been saying my
entire… oh my god I’m going to tear up…
I had finally done something that I said
that I was gonna do my entire life and
that feeling is like… it’s irreplaceable.
it really is being able to follow
through is something that was really
hard for you to do your entire life.
The number one question that I get asked is
if I have any loose skin and if it’s
worth it. I get so many messages from
people telling me that they want to lose
weight, they’re tired of feeling the way
that they feel but they don’t want to
lose weight because they’re scared of
what their body is gonna look like
afterwards. I do have loose skin and I
haven’t been quiet about it if you’re on
my Instagram or my youtube channel I’ve
posted videos I’m not scared of it.
Because I want people to see it. It is
real it is a real part of life and it’s
a real part of this journey. So I think
that it’s really important to… air out
what shames people. Because the best way
to get rid of shame is to air it out and
to put it out there. Because if you’re
saying “hey this is me I’m okay with it”
then it really does not matter what
anybody else thinks.
Nobody is stuck you always have the
choice to turn off the autopilot and
take your life in the direction that you
want. So ultimately like I say at the end
of every video. You hold the power in
your hands to make any changes in your
life that you want to make!
yeah if you would have asked me three